we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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