Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
