3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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