these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just want to make out with him forever
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
