walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
