but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
