I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
