I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
