She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
