So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
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