Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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