I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
