dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
