What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
