i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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