Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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