But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
