I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
