Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
