I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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