I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
