HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm like, not good at living.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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