Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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