She is in my trunk
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
