i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize