Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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