i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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