So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The adults are the big ones right?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
