It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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