You work out of a Hotel?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
