Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
