I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
