Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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