Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize