don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize