I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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