$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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