She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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