We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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