great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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