Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
