3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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