this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
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Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
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But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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