i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
