It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
