I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
