I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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