I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This is the high leading the old right now
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
