you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
