She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he fucked my hip out of place.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
