do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize