Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
you made out with another girl for some wings
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