p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
