There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
