he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
