I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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