i just google imaged poop.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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