I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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